When you start a project or you're trying to pursue your dreams there may be many fears running in your head. Most of them we make up in our mind. One of these fears is the fear of receiving a lot of No's. We don't like receiving No's because most of the time we take it very personally. We take it so personally that we stop doing the things that we love the most or doing them in a way that are in line with who we are. Just because.. someone said No!
Now, when we really think about it, it may sound so silly that we are so much influenced by a short word like No. However, in our everyday life this is a big problem for many of us. If we look at our past and we are honest with each other, we may see the decisions that were taken after receiving a No. Many of them, I promise, were reactions. Even if they were positive reactions like: 'I have to work harder and succeed.' or 'I'll ask more people so that I'll finally have a yes!'. Instead of taking a step back and have a look at how a 'No' affects our thoughts we jump straight away in an impulsive reaction. This doesn't help us achieve what we want to do with the same authenticity that created our goal in the first place.
So, how do we stop reacting to a No
1. Play 100%
First of all you need to be in action and ask the questions which could get a Yes or No answer. Talk to people, share what you're doing and why you're doing it. Get passionate about your project and involve all the people around you in your game. Play full-out. Have a look at how many people you actually meet and how many times you ask your questions. Are you stopped? Is there any person who scares you or intimidates you? Observe why that person scares you, don't judge yourself and then do it anyway!
2. Write a black list
Write down all the worse things that could happen if someone says No to your request. Everything that is in your mind and then put it on the wall. If you have the courage to do that, share them with the people around you and have a look at their reactions. Have a look at what comes up when you really get present to what scares you and stops you from being in action.
3. Consider other areas of your life
Look at your life and see whether there are other areas where you have requests that lead to a 'Yes' or No. How are you doing in that area? Look at how this area is performing or changing depending on the answers you receive. Have a look if you find consistency with your project or there are differences. If that is case, ask yourself how come there are differences in how you perceive your answer.
4. Expect a huge amount of No's and ask anyway!
Go and share your requests with everyone, be bold and expect a No. See if you can hold a No without reacting and observe what comes up as a first reaction. Your goal is to 'hold the space' when you hear a 'No'.
5. Look at the Yes's
Now, have a look at how you react to Yes's! For some reasons a Yes is better than a No. Why? You may say: 'of course it is better than a No!' Well, it is if we just take it as it is and not add any story around it. I mean, how many times, we receive a Yes and we have already a reason in our head why that particular person said Yes to us? What I want to highlight here is that, no matter what kind of answer you receive, once again, you take it personally! If it's a no, it is because of you or about you and if it is a Yes same story. Guess what? This is not really what's going on in reality! There are so many possibilities in life and we spend our life thinking that we know exactly which one it is. And, because we think we know the reason behind a Yes or No, we start reacting to what we think it's true! So, what I suggest here is to start to observe what happens when you receive a Yes. Become interested in what your mind tells you abut the person you're interacting with and yourself.
6. Reconnect with your purpose
We already spoke about getting connected to our purpose. Well, this is the time to really see what's behind what you're developing as a project or your request. This works for all kind of requests of support you may have. Have a look if you're really inspired by what you're up to in your life. If that is case, you won't be scared anymore of getting a No. Why? Well, because you're more interested in what you're really up to rather than what an answer means about you!
7. Make it happen
Now that you have cut all the opinions about Yes's and No's it's time to make it happen. Go and get what you're looking for!