One week ago, before the attacks in Brussels, I spent at least ten minutes experiencing pure fear. I chose to see fear, stay in it and react to it. I couldn't stop thinking about what the newspapers were writing about all the attacks that are expected in London in the next few days, weeks. I was terrified, incapable to rationalise and think straight.
We live in a city that has been threatened many times and is expected to be attacked very soon. We constantly breathe fear around us: when you walk down the street, in our daily conversations, when underground and people just stare at each other in silence. I found myself experiencing a real sense of detachment from reality. As suddenly reality had hit me straight in my face showing me how powerless I feel facing all the events currently happening in the world. I chose to be in that state of fear. I chose right there to be a victim of it. Then, I realised how that powerlessness was coming from my being rather than from the situation itself. This is how everyone gets trapped in a fear that belongs to the whole community and we allow this fear to drive us.
Then, last week's attack happened. In the past I would have laughed at people who had tried to tell me to not be scared and create something else. Right now, I am grateful that I still have the chance to actually create something that is not hatred. Something that doesn't tarnish my vision of life and who I am as a person.
What's happening in Europe is happening in the world every day and yes these events have a bigger impact when they happen nearer to us. It's normal and understandable. Of course, I felt guilty so many times for getting more attached to events happening near me instead of those far from me.
The point is that getting trapped in our mind won't help. If I had to listen to my mind right now, I would probably leave my favourite city and go somewhere safe. I wouldn't care about other people. I would just think of myself. Is this the answer? It's not my answer!
In a world of fear there is no space for possibilities, creativity and dreams. There is no space for contribution. What I can do is taking action in my small context and keep sharing my commitment for a fair and cosmopolitan society which grows, evolves, improves.
In every action in my daily life this is what I am going to do: to stand still and keep being the person I wish to meet on my path.