Almost 2 months ago I took the decision to leave my 9-5 job. It wasn't an easy decision. I even got very ill a couple of days before taking this big step: It was like part of my body was refusing to accept something that would be completely out of my ordinary life.
Having that kind of security has been my rock pretty much my entire life. After university, it took me a while to find my very first job and when I found it, it seemed to me that I had to stick to it no matter what. I did many things and worked in many interesting places, all related to a field that really interested me. At that time working 9-5 really made me happy: I had many satisfactions, learned many things and developed a good discipline to achieve different goals. It was also the only way - in my mind - that could provide me with an income. I would never imagine that I could make it without it.
However something shifted within me. I felt that I had to pursue my dream and develop my own business, All those years - spent building a career - were now something that was not appealing to me anymore. I wasn't really regretting anything I did. It just felt right to me, in that precise moment to take a step out of my comfortable zone and jump.
For the last 10 years, I have been developing different activities outside my 9-5 job such a singing and voice coaching, yoga teaching, freelance writing and marketing consultancy. People used to ask me all the time: 'how do you manage to do all these things together? You should focus on one thing!' I always thought there was something wrong in who I was and how I wanted to live my life. There must have been something wrong because I never liked only one thing and my happiness used to come from many different activities. It never occurred to me that those things that kept me awake in the night, would allow me to leave my job years after and live the life I love integrating all my passions into my brand.
I am now realising what it means to commit to something and really make sure that you do whatever it takes to make it happen for yourself. I am also realising that I have been struggling with commitment my whole life, scared of losing the things I love the most and scared of looking bad in front of people.
There are still so many insecurities within me. So many times I ask myself what do I have to offer to people, am I crazy? Or maybe too arrogant to think that I have something to teach to someone. But then, something really magical happens. Do you know what this is? I fall in love with the expression that people have on their faces when they share with me their passions, when they come to me for a class or a session. It keeps happening to me. It happened to me yesterday when I had the honour to see a man's face transforming while he was performing his songs, songs that he wrote and never had the courage to share with anyone. In that moment, despite all my insecurities, it's very clear to me that whatever I offer to these people, I want to keep doing it.
So, now after 2 months it just seems so strange to live this kind of life. I used to have many opinions about working for someone else or having your own business. I used to judge people and myself, constantly. But now I see that there is no right or wrong but just differences in how people want to live their lives. I still like many things and have so many ideas and now I can make them happen (always starting from a plan, don't forget!)
Who knows how this is going to last. If it's something that I am trying to learn is to not be attached to anything, especially to what I think I want. Things change, we change and transform and that is the beauty of life and it would be a mistake to stick to something just because we have to.
I feel the need to encourage people to follow their dreams. Whether they want to work for themselves or not, just to follow what they really want, despite fears, judgments and doubts. Everyone has their own needs and goals and I value too much self expression to just pretend that it's ok that people around me don't get to do what they really want to do.
So, if you want to do something: commit to it, get a plan and jump!