As human beings we often have the conviction that things are permanent. That once we achieve something that we are happy, satisfied, complete. But most of the time this is only an illusion. Like little hamsters in a wheel we run towards our goals to achieve them and ensure that we have a place in the sun. When we achieve things it might happen that we feel more secure, we gain confidence. It might also happen - and this often happens to me - we lose the knowledge and the awareness of the big picture.
All these things happen on the mat too. They happen for example when we face some hard poses. We are attached to the achievement. We fight, we try, we fail. Maybe we understand the importance of being committed to the achievement - rather than attached - and at a certain point, we may manage to perform that particular pose which represented for months, maybe years, a huge challenge. That pose which tested us, which brought up feelings, sensations, which brought us very close to our limitations. Then, when we perform it many times, we lose the magic. We forget what brought us there. We end up feeling ‘cool’, extremely proud and deeply attached to that achievement. And suddenly we lose the beauty of the journey.
It might also happen that we are losing that mental space, that concentration, that stillness in which we created the power to achieve that pose. Suddenly we get confronted to the impermanence of humanity. We get confronted with change: to the fact that our body and mind are different every day and every day we live new things, new challenges, and we respond in a different way. We can’t fight this, it’s part of our nature.
I like talking about this because this is one of the most important things I've learned from my Yoga Teacher Training. Accepting the impermanence of the things. The changes in my mind and my body. The imperfections in my body and mind. I learned how to appreciate the journey which brings me to that stillness which could last sometimes for hours, days, and sometimes just for seconds. I learned to see the attachment of my mind to achievement. The need of being challenged. I learned so much from and for myself, and this is only the beginning.